Copywriting Analysis: Anatomy of a Winning Sales Letter

by David Garfinkel

People always bug me about showing them a winning sales letter and telling them why it's so good.

Well... if you're one of those people (or even if you're not)... today's your lucky day.

I have a real-time case study you should look at right away.

How it happened:

Last Tuesday, I'm in the Lenscrafters store in Culver City, California. My &*#^!@&! reading glasses have jettisoned the bolt that keeps the frame nice 'n' tight around my right-eye lens.

I can't read without these glasses. And I'm on the road; far, far away from home.

As I'm standing in the store wondering which is worse -- the $30 in cab fares to and from the hotel, or the $5 fee for a bolt the size of a grain of sand -- my cell phone rings.

It's Sterling Valentine, and he sounds anxious. Really anxious. Sterling is the talented filmmaker I met in Orlando in February.

Sterling has just launched a new product and his copy is sucking wind -- his estimation. His conversion rate is way too low.

He needs help... and fast.

I can't even see at this point, mind you... but I know exactly who to send him to. Mike Morgan of Outsource Copy.

Long story short, my glasses got fixed, I got back to the hotel in one piece... and Sterling's rewrite improved conversion by an astounding 655%.

~ ~ ~

That's very nice, you say.

But why should I care? (you ask)

I agree. So, as Publisher of the World Copywriting Newsletter, I simply couldn't leave well enough alone.

I figured Mike Morgan owed me one for the referral (he is a mentoring client of mine, and far be it from me to cut him any slack whatsoever)... so... I interviewed him and asked him to tell me (and you) exactly what he did to increase conversion by more than six-fold.

Since I mentor by intimidation, he instantly agreed to reveal some key points:

1. Headline

His final new 3-part headline was:

(pre-headline) What's most amazing is there's NO learning curve at all... and yet your new-found WEALTH will make you one of the biggest hitters in town... guaranteed!

(main headline) "How A Completely Self-Taught Newbie Marketer Ignored "The Herd"... And Stumbled On The ONE BIG DARN SECRET To Instantly Transform You From Clueless Rookie To Online Hotshot... Especially If You've Got No List, No Partners, or No Product!"

(second headline) Incredible discovery reveals exactly why some marketers are winners and others never make the big time. Here's how you can tap into that goldmine with no effort at all.

His original new headline didn't pass muster. (Yes, you see, you're not the only copywriter who "negotiates" with you clients.)

The original Mike Morgan new headline talked about what the "so-called experts" teach and how the "Self-Taught Newbie Marketer" ignored their advice.

Too confusing, Sterling and his mentor Ken McArthur pointed out.

Changing "so-called experts" to "the herd" not only made the point clearer, but also added intrigue that practically FORCES the reader to continue on.

(If you want to see the whole sales letter now, go to

http://www.davidgarfinkel.com/rewrite )

2. Short copy? Forget-about-it

Me: Mike, did you cut length or make the copy longer?

Mike: The original copy was very light on word count. I felt we needed to tell a potential prospect more. I know for a fact that JV's are a huge shortcut to success. (I'm involved in several myself.)

So benefits were fortified and I tuned into peoples favorite radio station, WIIFM (What's In It For Me!)

The copy was lengthened from about 10 or 12 pages to 24.

3. Targeting the market, right in the sales letter

In the original that Sterling wrote, he never mentioned the specific kind of marketer who could use joint ventures.

Mike dug and dug and came up with a list, which he included in his rewrite. The benefit of doing this is, the person reading the copy knows right away if this product is for him or her... or not.

Here's the list Mike included in the sales letter:

* Affiliate Marketers
* Programmers
* Adsense Marketers
* Webmasters
* Copywriters
* List Owners
* Information Marketers
* Brick and Mortar Businesses
* Teleseminar Leaders
* Subject Matter Experts
* Coaches
* Consultants
* Authors
* Speakers
* Trainers
* Product Developers
* Membership sites
* Promoters

4. Putting some punch into the bullets

Me: What did you do with the bullet points?

Mike: Well, one of the first things I noticed about the old copy for JV Formula was the bullets. They didn't sing… in fact they whimpered.

The only way to produce killer bullets for the letter was to know the product inside and out. Well, that's hard to do by itself in 48 hours, let alone adding the task of producing a winning promotion.

So I got some help. My research assistant Dan is an animal researcher. I told him the things I needed and he slurped up 156 pages of transcripts and pulled out every amazing fact, tidbit and strategy he could find. Then he correlated each one to the specific DVD it was presented on.

I saved the bullets for last and hunkered down with some classical music to fire up my tired neurons. 6 hours later I had created the best bullets I could in the time frame.

Now, people would have a good flavor of the content on each DVD.

5. Adding Value

Me: What did you do to add more value to the offer?

Mike: We created the JV Incubator.

Sterling immediately saw the extra value to putting everyone who invests in his course into a community where they would have instant access to each other.

He made a huge investment into a killer portal to make it happen.

This removes every obstacle, every excuse and every barrier to turning what folks learn into practice. Imagine the value of hundreds of like minded individuals connecting together in a family that rapidly forms profitable joint venture teams. Sterling himself can help guide the group so they avoid pitfalls and enjoy true synergy.

~ ~ ~

Yeah.

There you have a minicourse in how to revamp a sales letter that isn't doing so well, with some excellent "after" examples... on a sales letter that increased conversion by more than a factor of six.

I would save this newsletter, if I were you, for the next promotion you do. Use these five points: headline, long copy, targeting, bullet points, adding value...

... as a checklist. You can't go wrong by focusing on those five factors alone. Or certainly, as where to start.

And it will be a Course in Copywriting Excellence to study the sales letter in detail.

Go to:

http://www.davidgarfinkel.com/rewrite

Cheers,

David Garfinkel
Publisher, World Copywriting Newsletter